Why I’m Freezing My Eggs… and Why I’d Still Have an Abortion Today
This fall, I’m freezing my eggs.
I am a healthy, single, 29-year old female and I am blessed to have the privilege to do this. It is something I’ve wanted to do since I’m 15.
Actually, when I was 15, I boldly declared that if I didn’t have a husband (I wasn’t quite feminist enough yet to refer to the man I’ll build a chapter of my life with as a partner), I would have a baby on my own at 30.
I knew enough of my mother’s medical history to know that if I wanted to have a baby from my own body, I’d have to be intentional about it.
Almost 15 years later -- and a few short months closer to 30 than I’ve ever been -- I am calling bullshit on myself.
I’m not ready to have a human baby. I do have a furbaby (@fionainthecity if you want to see her spy antics; she’s a spy, I’m convinced and if you follow her, you’ll see why!) but a human baby? And no drinking for NINE months? NO SUSHI for NINE MONTHS?!?
Hell to the no.
I am not ready for that yet and I shouldn’t have to be.
Family Planning has been something that Men have had control of since the dawn of time. And that’s not right. Sex is the one thing that truly divides us politically (think about all of the policies, one way or another, they connect back to who is doing whom in what way in their bedroom… think about it) and it really, is none of anyone’s damn business except the person (or people #nojudgment) in your bedroom.
As a feminist, choice is important to me. Freedom of choice is what I fight for every day, in every way. I will happily stand with you to support you in your fight for YOUR choices and use my privilege to stand up for you if you ask. I constantly educate myself on ways to be a better ally.
That being said, I have decided to share this journey to help more young women like me realize it is perfectly OK to do this.
It isn’t wrong.
It isn’t (too) scary.
It isn’t something you SHOULDN’T do if you feel strongly about doing it.
This is an entirely new content series (#VixDoesFertility), strictly under my public figure profile on this lifestyle blog. If you know anything about me, you know that I built a 6-figure business at 27 years old and that I am a digital PR, marketing, strategy and branding expert dedicated to helping brands, entrepreneurs and influencers find the right ways to write their success stories on their terms through content that converts and stories that sell.
But this content? This story? This is one that is all my own. It isn’t part of our regularly broadcast digital content program. It is, however, part of Fempreneurs finding their way… and female cubicle warriors finding happiness on their terms.
As women, we’re often subject to a series of shoulds that are, quite frankly, a load of BS. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t feel connected to them. We spend money on SoulCycle, Therapy, Wine and other hobbies to fill the void and help ourselves heal. We spend hours on things that don’t really matter at the end of the day because we had ONE asshole boss tell us to do that ONE time.
We are objectified and criticized every, single day.
And as we age, it only gets worse. As we get more comfortable in our skin, the haters get more enraged that they have lost their hold on our psyche and our pocketbooks and they lash out.
Online, on the street… in our texts and between our sheets.
And by telling this story, I hope I give you the courage to smash the glass ceiling from the top down into a million pieces so no one can ever put it back together again.
I am going to spend over $5K to make this choice because it is the right one for me. But if I happened to, as some might say, “miraculously” become pregnant right now? I’d have an abortion.
Because it is not the right time for me to start my family. Because I am not ready to create that chapter of my life yet. Because I still haven’t found a partner who supports my goals, lights my soul (and my sheets #brutallyhonest) on fire every time I look at him.
Because I don’t effing want to and no one is going to make me.
Because I have a right to choose when, how and why I make another human life with this body and no man shall ever take that right away from me.
I’ve never believed that this process was anyone’s responsibility except my own. I wanted to do it in my early 20s but knew I wouldn’t have the money to -- responsibly -- make it happen. And now? Now, I have spent the last few years making sure I do have that financial freedom.
When I do finally decide it is the right time to have kids, I hope the daughter I someday wish to have will have the right to choose, to plan and to build her life on her terms… and find a partner who supports her in the same choices.
And maybe, even have a society that supports her too.
If you want to follow this journey, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And, if you’d like emails about new posts along these topics, sign-up below to be added to a special list for this purpose.